You Are What You Think

I rode back from the beach this week and had a lot of time to think.  It was just me and my daughter, it was a long drive and there was a temporary lull in the conversation.  I was in my head, mentally beating myself up for finishing off the bread pudding the night before and eating 2 dozen baked oysters the prior afternoon.  

I looked down at the seatbelt and the bulge coming over the top of the lap belt.  I was kind of disgusted with myself.  I thought about the fact that I had taken a few weeks off from tracking my food, blogging about my weight loss, and over the last few days, I had taken off my Bodybugg so I could tan evenly.  I was on vacation!  Stupid choices. Why did I do that?  Great . . . now I felt FAT again.

As I thought about it, I decided that I was just a little bit crazy.  I have not gained back any weight since March or April.  I am still 50 pounds lighter than I was a year ago.  I am wearing the same size I have worn since May which is either an 18 or 20.  A year ago I wore a size 26. The dancing/exercise has allowed me to maintain my weight loss while I "vacationed" from eating healthy.

So what happened?  Two months ago, I was proud of the way I looked and how far I had come.  What was different now?

My thinking was the difference.  I was thinking the same way I thought last year so I felt the same way I felt then.  Our self image is not based on any type of reality at any given moment, it is mostly all about what we think.  It's the reason an anorexic teenage girl thinks she's fat.  It's the reason at 292 pounds I thought I wasn't THAT fat until a saw a couple of photos telling me otherwise.

It's amazing what our mind does to us.  When I start thinking I'm fat again, I visualize that, get frustrated, and eat poorly.  When I am eating healthy, I see myself getting smaller and I am proud of my appearance.  Mind Tricks.

The fact is, I'm still fat even though I have lost 50 pounds.  I weigh 242 pounds.  I have 80 - 90 pounds to lose still.  No matter what I see in my head, those are the facts.  Sitting and thinking about it doesn't change a thing . . . action does.

I will find the physical strength and the mental strength to lose the next 80 - 90 pounds I need to lose.  I don't know how long it will take and I am not in a hurry.  It's a process.  The first step was putting that Bodybugg back on last night.  The second step was logging back into Livestrong.com this morning, recalculating my calorie goals and logging all my food today.

The next step . . . changing my thinking.  That's a much harder thing to do so stay tuned!

Market Fresh Blackberries

Yesterday’s trip to the farmer’s market yielded a lot of photos and some amazing produce.  I got these blackberries while there and I do believe they are the largest blackberries I have ever seen and they are so sweet.  The one I am holding is not even the largest!  They were a great healthy breakfast this morning.

I also got some beautiful tomatoes that I will be using for a caprese salad later today.  For those that aren’t sure – a caprese salad consists of sliced tomatoes, sliced fresh mozzarella, fresh basil, and balsamic vinegar.  All you do is take a slice of tomato, lay it on the plate, lay on a slice of mozzarella, add the fresh basil and drizzle with balsamic vinegar.  So good.

I got some fresh corn, some beautiful green onions, and a few different types of squash.  One type of squash was interesting to me – Mediterranean squash.  It looks like a zucchini but is a much lighter green color.  In looking for recipes on Google, it appears you use it like any other summer squash like zucchini or yellow squash.

What kind of things do you gravitate to at your farmers market?

Recipe: Pesto, Spinach, Tomato, and Goat Cheese Pizza

I am not a big fan of traditional pizzas.  But since I am trying to eat healthy and get a wider variety of ingredients into my diet, I have tried a lot of things that I never really thought about before.  

I knew I loved spinach just about any way you fix it and I knew that a little goat cheese  will go a long way to adding flavor without a lot of calories.  So when my daughter made a yummy tomato and goat cheese pizza from a Cooking Light recipe I thought I would start experimenting and try some additional ingredients.   

The pizza recipe below is what I came up with.  It uses some prepared ingredients, some fresh and it makes a pizza with 6 slices at 221 calories per slice. 

 

 

Ingredients

• 1 100% Whole Wheat Pizza Crust by Boboli
• 2 tbsp Pesto from the grocery
• 2 oz Fresh Raw Spinach
• 1 medium size Roma Tomato, sliced
• 2 4/5 oz Alloutte crumbled goat cheese
• 2 oz Asiago Cheese or Parmesan, shredded

Directions

Spread pesto on pre-made pizza crust. Layer on spinach then add sliced roma tomato. Top with goat cheese and sprinkle with asiago cheese.
Bake at 450 degrees for about 15 minutes.

This pizza is pretty filling and you get a lot of veggies in.  You could add diced chicken or chopped artichokes, or replace the Roma tomato with chopped sun-dried tomatoes.  Be creative and make it your own.