There is something about keeping a blog that holds you responsible for what you say and do. One does not really want one’s shortcomings or downfalls right out there for everyone to see, right?
Since September, I have not been eating healthy. Mostly, I have been eating whatever the heck I wanted and as much as I wanted. I have made some effort to get back on track but those efforts quickly fell by the wayside. I maintained the weight for a while but could tell my body was changing. I was eating more carbs so my stomach was growing larger where it had flattened out slightly. Then, I wasn’t maintaining anymore because I was eating too much and the exercise was being canceled out by the number of calories I was eating. Long story short . . . 17 pounds returned, making me unhappy and embarrassed.
It was easier not to come to my blog to try to write about weight loss because if I did, I had to face my failures.
So I didn’t. I haven’t written in months.
Well, it’s time to face it.
I have gained back 17 pounds of the 52 pounds I lost. And things have to change.
Have you ever received “a sign”? You know . . . the sign you need to change something in your life? Sometimes they are subtle and sometimes they just jump up and slap you in the face.
Last night, I was at work a little later and I was overly hungry. I had eaten a Chick-fil-A sandwich at about 11:30 and had eaten nothing since then – almost 6 hours. My stomach was growling as I talked to my boss on the phone. I got off the phone and ordered dinner online at Outback so I could pick it up on the way home. I ordered a wedge salad and a small filet with broccoli. Again, overly hungry, I scanned the dessert menu and saw a carrot cake. I added that to the order. I left work, swung by the restaurant to pick up the order, and headed home. It smelled soooooooo good. My stomach was still growling away.
When I arrived at home, I took the salad out and began enjoying it. Who doesn’t love a wedge salad? I opened the larger container holding the steak. Yum. Where was the broccoli? There were two smaller styrofoam containers so I checked them both. The broccoli was in the first. The other must be the carrot cake, right? I opened it to look at it. Inside were about 10 pieces of celery. Celery. CELERY!!!!!
My first reaction . . . no, make that my second reaction . . . was to call the restaurant and complain. Then I thought about the situation for a bit. Then I said some ugly words. Then I thought some more. I finally decided to take that celery as a sign that my time as a free eater is coming to an end. Carrot cake is not a vegetable.
So I am here, confessing my embarrassment and stupidity but also trying to set myself right again. I heard the celery talking and I am going to change my ways. It will be hard and I’m not perfect so I am back to talk about my struggles and my successes.
Ahhhhhh, that feels so much better. Damn celery.